MMH creates secure setting for all involved

BY KIKO MARTINEZ
Methodist Mission Home

Melissa and Keith Ford knew they would adopt a child “someday,” but never imagined how exciting the process would actually be.

The Fords spent a lot of time researching open adoption. Their family also had questions about what “open adoption” meant exactly. “I think many people see it as ‘co-parenting,’ but it’s really nothing like that at all,”  Melissa said. “We had to educate our own families about all these things.”

Methodist Mission Home (MMH), San Antonio, Adoption Services Director Helen Huff says in an open adoption, the birthmother places her child with a family she has chosen. Once a “match” has been made, a Cooperative Plan is completed by both the birth-mother and the adoptive parents. This Cooperative Plan is a contract that is based on trust between the adoptive parents and birthmother.

“This document serves as a guideline that maps out future contact between the birthmother, adoptive parents, and adoptee,” explains Ruttenberg. “In most cases, the birthmother with a family will want yearly updates and
photos. In some cases, she may want some contact throughout the child’s life. In other cases, the birthmother may not want any contact at all. It  depends on the comfort level of all parties. However, MMH educates adoptive families about open adoption.”

When the Fords found MMH in 2005 while searching for adoption agencies in Texas, they were pleasantly surprised when they learned it was less than a mile from their home.

“We immediately loved MMH – the staff, the program, everything,” said Melissa. “At first we had questions about whether to adopt overseas or domestic. After attending an Adoption Information Seminar (AIS) at MMH, we decided that domestic was right for us.”

Soon after, a birthmother told MMH adoption counselors that she had seen the Ford’s family profile and was interested in choosing them as the adoptive family.

“Our first meeting was very short,” Melissa said. “The birth mom was very emotional and couldn’t stay very long. I think that was the  rst time the reality of her decision really hit her.Our counselor called to assure us that her tears were only because she liked us so much, and she wanted to know if we would adopt her baby boy.”

Thrilled and a little overwhelmed, the Fords met with the birthmother during the two months prior to the birth. The birthmother even invited Melissa to escort her to her doctor’s appointments.

“It meant a lot that she invited me,” Melissa said. “We really wanted to know her. From the talks we had at the doctor’s office, I learned things about her that we didn’t get from the paperwork. Now, I can tell our son about his birth mom.”

Two months later, little Brody Aaron was born. Melissa says she and Keith feel it’s important for him to know his history. They want to have an open line of communication with their son about his adoption.

“I started a baby book for him after we first met his birth mom and his adoption story is in there, along with pictures and his bracelet from the hospital,” Melissa said. “He likes to look through the book and talk about it all.”

Melissa says the best thing for a couple to do if they are looking into adoption is to do a lot of research before starting the process. This includes reading a lot of adoption books and passing the information on to the rest of the family who also might have questions.

“Clearing up misconceptions is the first big hurdle,” Melissa said. “Then you realize it’s not as hard as you think it’s going to be.”